SPRING BREAK day five: Junk Food, Lazy Day

today the kids got to have tech time, watch movies, eat junk food, and do absolutely ZERO chores all day long. It wasn't as big of a disaster as it has been in the past. I am getting better at it. I did chores quickly and got a lot done. Our trip to the store was a bit stressful, but once we finally got Ebenezer to calm down, it was fine. I used the day to get as much done as possible. However, there were a couple of disasters at the end of our day... and a couple of blessings, too. 

the kids pick this every chance they get. I combined everything into one big day so that I could get it over with, shush them from begging for this stuff, and allow myself some time to get stuff done while they veg out. it worked out nicely.

disaster #1 was that the dryer broke. I needed to get all the laundry caught up for tomorrow's activity, so instead of waiting until we got a new one, I went down to the laundromat and got it done. this put me behind my schedule quite a bit and now I feel stressed about homework. 

disaster #2: Jeff called the realtor and the banker to try to get started on the house-buying process. They both told us that there is no way we are going to find a house at what we can afford and our debt is too high compared to our income. we had to turn down the job offer and give up on moving. now we are just going to stay at my mom's house for however long it takes to pay off debt and get to a better place for buying. at first, I was okay with all of it because I felt like the Lord had slowly been preparing my heart for this news and reality. however, the longer Jeff and I talked, the more I started to feel upset by what he said and the more I began to wonder if everything in my life was a lie. my insecurities took over and I felt upset by everything. this was worsened as I told my family the news. I tried to at least stay positive and hopeful as I told the children. 

but two miracles happened. 

miracle #1: might seem silly, but it's worth noting that Gladys and James got invited for a playdate with the Petersen family. for one, it's a miracle that they are in our lives, they are such good people. and two, the timing was perfect because James and Gladys both got home just in time for their turns on Nintendo and to pick the movie. it was shocking how it turned out!

miracle #2: our ministering brother and his son stopped by to fix our fence and our door and brought cookies. I felt so grateful for them and they did such a magnificent job on everything. I felt seen and loved and cared for. 

so even though today was rough, I feel thankful for some of the good things that happened. I just have to remember what the Lord told me a month or so ago: "Things won't turn out the way you think they will, but if you turn to me, everything will be okay." I believe that. now I just have to live it. there are good things for me to do here. I can still grow as a person and do good. it will be okay. with the Lord.

every day I get at least five more comments on my Instagram post (I mentioned it a few days back). I decided to try to wrap things up with another post in hopes that people would stop and realize that I learned something from what I said and how they responded. it doesn't seem to have helped, but I wanted to post my response here because I think its worth remembering.