I don't really do mommy time for my kids anymore. I used to believe that if I did it, they would become more cooperative and obedient. That morphed into wanting to connect with them and make meaningful memories that brought us closer together. And now? it's because I want to spend time with them. plain and simple. I want to make an effort to show them they matter to me and fill my own cup by having some one-on-one time with them. It's pure selfishness because my soul feels replenished when we have quality time together. I put this on the agenda because I wanted to do it, not because they wanted to do it. the order I did them was mostly based off of who got chores done first.
Evelynn:
she chose to do the card game Avacado Smash. It's a classic from Charlie's cancer era. we had a good time and I lost. we made a bet beforehand and therefore I had to take her to Target to use her birthday gift card. She used it to buy Lindor chocolate.
Charles:
I took his cactus home a few weeks ago to give it some loving care. it was languishing. This is the same cactus that I gave him before he passed away. I took it home with me from the Ryan House and held it in my lap, leaving my son's body behind for the morgue. I miss this boy so much. I told him so. I told him that I already know he knows what's going on in our lives, and that I am just going to keep on trying. and believing... that one day I will hug him and see him again. I told him I was sorry and I love him. and I shed some tears. I wanted to lie down next to him, but I keep forgetting to bring my blanket and it was super crowded. so maybe another time. it's unreal. all of it. gratitude is my only salve. that, and Jesus Christ. so many more thoughts, but for now, I will ponder them in my heart.
Gladys:
this chick chose to play Monopoly. I was not thrilled. she totally surprised me, though. She banked for us and won the game. She catches me by surprise sometimes and I felt bad for undermining her. She won the bet and got a personal pint of chocolate ice cream.
Roger:
he chose to ride scooters to the park and play. we had a race and swang in the swings. He won two of the races we did, but I won the race of who could go higher in the swings faster.
Sally:
this chickadee chose to play Labyrinth, another family favorite from Charlie's cancer era. I could not think of anything to bet her, so I let her win so that she could get the ice cream she wanted. she ate about five gogurts during our game and she laughed super hard when I complained that the ghost had red hair. I love this lady so much.
James:
this kid chose a scooter ride to the park. we went the long way. I wanted to race him on the playground, but he told me I was just too heavy of a mom. instead, I convinced him to roll down the hill with me. Unfortunately, I smashed him both times! we found some snail shells and he told me how much he loves me. He has a way of finding a soft spot in my heart for wild little boys. *also, at least ONE onlooking person found it hilarious that I did the metal zipline... and I am so glad I blessed them with my embarrassing silly self! it's what I live for.*
Walter:
Chose to make Lego boats and float them in the tub. He named his boat beetle and plane boat. I named mine the dragonfly and the thing. they all made it.
Leena:
my favorite firecracker. She chose Jenga. She kept saying "I am an expert at this." and she made it very far before making it crash down.
Richard:
this poor kid. all he wanted was to go to the park with me. but the day got wild when the door broke and I had to stay at the house while the door got fixed. so he sadly played FastTrack with me instead. then he got his feelings hurt and we called Jeff and made silly pictures together.
Ebenezer:
again, sad story. I wanted to have a special bubble bath moment with him because I could tell he wanted to do that earlier in the day, however, I got super busy and by the time I got around to him, he was knocked out cold. I went ahead and made the bath for him, hoping he would perk up, but he was in a terrible mood and HATED it. I tried to snuggle him to calm him down but it took another hour, a soft blanket, and a warm bottle before he could settle down.
I also helped a ministering sister pull some weeds, which was therapeutic. Plus, I was able to see a newborn baby, which is always magical. I got a couple of awesome marco-polos from people I love, ran some errands, did dishes and laundry, AND made a really amazing dinner IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF (which is the only praise I am going to get, but whatever). The door broke today and that was super upsetting but our ministering brother came over and fixed it and made everything better than before. SO GRATEFUL for him. and? I finally did some birthday shopping that needed to get done. never did get around to my homework, though, which is lame.
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