evelynn eilleen turns fourteen

So much could be said about Evelynn. I almost shrink at the attempt to sum up this day and how much I love this lady. But I am going to try. 

Evelynn planned and printed out her birthday wishes about three weeks ago. I instantly wanted to fulfill all of it. But when the time came for me to buy gifts and fit everything together into one day, I confess it was challenging and expensive. Was she ever ungrateful or whiney about anything? NOT ONE OUNCE. She was nothing but lovely and grateful every inch of the way. (Me, on the other hand, was on the verge of a breakdown! haha.... oh, you know... just mentally/emotionally ill!)

She woke up to gifts and spent time loving every single item. Like, if you had an ideal way for someone to receive the gift you gave them... Evelynn was that exactly.

After having devotional as a family, I gave careful instructions to the rest of the kids and put Sally in charge, while Evelynn and I went to breakfast at IHOP. She DJ-ed the whole way there and back, and I always love the songs she picks. Pete's Dragon, Muppets, and Shrek the Musical mixed in with Imagine Dragons and Carrie Underwood's Champion... it's a whole vibe. 

we had the entire place to ourselves and despite her nervousness at people listening in on our conversation, we had plenty to talk about. After my whole week's theme being "Mother/Daughter Relationships" and researching by interviewing friends and hearing so many varied experiences, I was determined to really make our time together count. I asked her deep questions, hard questions, and important questions. She told me some things that I wasn't surprised to hear at all and others that got my mind and heart racing. I was sure to tell her what I love about her and why I am so proud of who she is. 

Coming home, both of us were SURE that we would find complete and utter chaos, but were more than happy to be wrong. Somehow most people were close to ready, and I was able to get everyone in the car at a reasonable time. Thankfully getting people to school on time (thanks to my mom for taking Sally). 

Once everyone was gone, it was time to drop off Bucky for his first haircut. This was one of Evelynn's birthday wishes, along with getting her own haircut, but since she got a haircut for Christmas, I opted for the dog instead, telling myself that this summer I would make sure all my girls get a solid haircut.

bucky before

I will be honest. everything about Bucky's haircut was uncomfortable for me. From making an appointment to worrying that I would hate the cut, I was unaware of how high-maintenance this dog was going to be. However, being there made me see what potential Evelynn has in making a living off of her love of animals. It made me feel motivated and excited to help her pursue her passions, instead of worrying that it is a complete waste of time.

When we finished dropping off the dog, we made our way to the store to pick out Evelynn's birthday cake. She wanted to make her own, and the more I tried to figure out what she wanted, the more she seemed to need to go to the store herself and browse to make a choice. To my deep relief, she saw ready-made angel food cake and decided on Strawberry Shortcakes for her birthday dessert. I had a few more items that I wanted to get from the store, but doing it with four of my littles proved to be a complete fiasco. Richard was literally stopping me every two minutes to tell me something he wanted for his birthday. James was bouncing off of the walls and into every person we crossed paths with, Leena was getting her feelings hurt by her brothers while trying to walk (if you know Leena, you know she doesn't handle her feelings very well... so she shuts down and won't cooperate AT ALL for a good chunk of time), and Ebenezer suddenly had the runniest nose that came out of no-where and I had no wipes with me! I am positive that Evelynn was embarrassed by our circus because I was, too. but somehow we got everything on our list and left... making it home right on schedule.

Thanks to the most generous and Christlike friends and family, I got offers from people to watch my four crazies while I went on my next endeavor with Evelynn: clothes shopping. We landed on my niece Emily, who is one of THE most amazing individuals on planet Earth. She came to our house with her cute son, Easton, and not only watched the kids but did all my dishes (THERE WERE SO MANY!!), cleaned up the house, wiped all the walls and windows, swept, did a load of laundry,  got all my kids dressed and did their hair, and kept them HAPPY and safe. She is Wonder Woman, I tell you, and you don't even know the half of it. and... I would be lying if I didn't say that it was very humbling. I wish I was the awesome aunt she could look up to and admire, but I am the one drowning that she saves again and again with her amazingness. The only way I could make it through those thoughts was to have deep gratitude for her, and I truly do. Love that girl, so much!

Taking the advice of my Facebook poll, and judging by the allotted time, Evelynn hopped over to TJMaxx and Ross. It was a smashing success. She found a jumper she loves and got matching sandals, then a nice church dress and a new backpack for school. I was feeling pretty happy with things, besides the length of the checkout line.

bucky after

We rushed to grab Bucky, then headed home for lunch and to thank Emily for her service. Meanwhile, my mom picked up Roger from school and Walter went off for a playdate at FatCats with his friends Nathan, Stephen, and Beckham. 

When we got home, Evelynn went straight into her room to play Nintendo. I worked hard on her quiche and crepes. it was a labor of love, especially because I wasn't planning to eat any of it! I fumbled to find something for myself to eat, and I felt determined because I had already done a HIIT exercise this morning, so I wanted to stay on track with my goals.

Soon enough, it was time to pick people up from places (there was a weird window of time between each pick-up). Evelynn didn't want to babysit, so I took all the littles with me and left her home to enjoy her solitude with the Nintendo. The littles all fell asleep. I called Jeff to see how things were going on his end. I told him I was on the struggle bus with my thoughts and he let me vent them with no judgement. I marco-polo-ed a bit. and I took the kids to a park for a chunk of time, too. Finally, I had everyone in my car and we headed home for more chaos.

Once we got home, I thankfully ordered pizza for dinner from Papa John's (evelynn's pick) and took her birthday pictures. She is truly beautiful. I sorted laundry and the kids played out front with neighbor friends for a bit.

Soon it was time to tidy up the house and have dinner. I ran to get the pizza and tried to motivate the kids to clean. It was a struggle, and I felt myself well up with rage at the half-ass job they were doing. (is there any other less crass way to say half-ass? I honestly want to know!) I want to be their cheerleader, but I also have expectations and I hate when chores are done so poorly... it feels disrespectful. They had tons of laundry to put away, too, so I used their 15 minutes of tech time as leverage... which in all honesty is another thing I really want to stop doing but have a hard time replacing with wiser parenting.

During dinner we not only shared about our days, but what we love about Evelynn. She was delighted and playful and everyone gushed about their love for her. I was the most taken aback by Sally, who truly seemed sincere in finding the right words. Then came the time for cake. we sang and she tried to blow out the candles one at a time... unsuccessfully. 

Her church leaders stopped by to love on her, and people got started on homework and tech time. I started to feel completely overwhelmed with everything and chose to sit down on the couch with Ebenezer and hold him. Then I made a list of school tasks for James to do, which he avoided. Soon it was time to leave Sally in charge (while Evelynn STILL enjoyed tech time) and I took Walter to his church activity.

I sat in the parking lot for my group therapy. And you will NEVER guess what the topic was? RELATIONSHIPS. and guess what story the facilitator told first? it was about MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS and I was like, "Oh HI God, I see you. fine. I will try to stay awake and take notes."

I did stay awake. I actually participated for the first time. and then I went inside the church building to put up a flyer for the bulletin that I had been asked to put up. Eventually, Walter was done and we called and talked to Jeff on our ride home. I got everyone in bed and now Evelynn and I are sitting down for some TACO CAT GOAT CHEESE PIZZA and a movie.

The house is a mess. I am tired. but what a day it's been.