another day, another dollar

I walked the dog this morning after my scripture study, then pushed us all through our morning routine.

Richard looked like such a little man when he got dressed today

on my way to drop off the boys at school, I first stopped at a gas station to buy Walter some candy to help him cough. there was a lady selling trunk tamales and breakfast burritos and I decided to treat myself. It was exciting.

On my way home from school drop-off, I got an onslaught of macro polo messages and made the pivotal choice to listen to them. I was quite distracted by the messages and chose to reply back at that moment. It made me get behind in my homeschooling with James, but we still got it done. I even attempted to do some schooling with Leena. My mind was still mulling over my friends' words, though, and I spent a lot of time analyzing my life and future... which I don't really know how to feel about right now.

things picked up even more at lunchtime. I picked up school kids, made important insurance phone calls, dealt with snacks and tantrums, kids had fifteen minutes of tech time and did homework, and then- when I wasn't expecting it at all the neighbor boys showed up to make lemonade. They handed me a bag of lemons and confidently said, "Here. put this in your fridge so we can make the lemonade." now, let me just say that I really did contemplate shutting them down, but it pulls at my heartstrings when cute little boys are willing to work hard at something other than video games. so I tried to figure out how to fit it into our day. And I did. but I swore I would never do it again. 

I worked on making soup and rolls for our family dinner and a different dinner for a family going through some hard stuff this week. And then I left Walter to babysit so that I could take Roger in for his finger situation. I got the referral I needed and did a whole lot of thinking about medical people.

Soon it was time to take Jim and Roger to the first church activity of the year, and it was James' first time. He was very excited about it and it warmed my heart. It's times like that when I question living with my mom forever just so that my kids can keep their leaders and friends. They had a good time.

I get occasional texts like this from Gladys' teacher. I love it.
I feel so grateful that she is having this experience and for all that her teacher does to help her.

Next up was clean up and dinner and then took Walter to his first young men's activity and took the girls to the young women's activity. I was supposed to have a meeting for my church calling and work on the Facebook page, but it got canceled last minute. I wasn't sure what to do with that newly acclaimed hour but my phone died, so I came home and sat around until it was time to pick people up.

and then... once I finally got everyone in bed...

Jeff and I had a very long and very emotional phone chat.

Sometimes my feelings and struggles boil over and it turns into a marathon of trying to communicate and work things out. it feels a lot harder when it's long-distance... but it is what it is.

A lot of painful things were discussed. a lot of tears were shed. and somehow, after four hours, I feel a little bit better. mostly glad that he was willing to take that time to work on our relationship. One of the biggest problems I face in our marriage, believe it or not, is trying to believe that Jeff loves me.

and now it is so late. I am going to pay for this tomorrow. g'night.